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Illusions of Intimacy (continued from page 7)

easy shared sense of humor indicate genuine delight in a friendship.

When I mention unconditional love in my workshops or to friends, I am usually met with disbelief or at least skepticism. Unconditional love doesn't preclude disappointment, angry feelings, or hurt. It is based on the ongoing process of deepening intimacy and caring that continues to exist and is always recognized even in the face of mutual imperfections, limitations, and idiosyncracies. "What you did made me feel bad and it seemed foolish, but I do not think you are a foolish person. And I still love you."

So however we define intimacy and whatever it means to each of us, we are not always sure that the potential gains outweigh the ever-present imminent risks of rejection and loss. We choose at times to avoid genuine intimacy which takes a lot of time, work and energy and replace it with the illusions of instant intimacy and instant sex. It is easier to have impersonal relationships but we owe it to ourselves as women to seek out those relationships that will enrich

us, enable us, and empower us with the bonding we need with others in order to reach our full potential as human beings. True intimacy may seem like an impossible dream at times, but the rewards make it worth striving for.

Virginia Satir, the well-known humanistic family therapist, puts it this way in her Goals for Me poem:

I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting.

If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.

Fern Levy is founder and chairperson of the Greater Cleveland Sexuality Education Network. She was Director of Education for the Cleveland Program for Sexual Learning. She teaches women's sexuality through the WomenFocus Program at Cuyahoga Community College, Cleveland HeightsUniversity Heights Community Services, and the Women's Enrichment Center.

Ten Years of ERA in WSW (continued from page 12)

Time is running out to show your support for the ERA. On June 6, there will be massive marches and rallies at the capitals of the key unratified states. (June, 1982)

Much has been written lately about the "death" of the Equal Rights Amendment on June 30. The failure on the part of pro-ERA forces to gain support in various state legislatures has been blamed on various scapegoats—the members of NOW who put too much energy and money into a losing cause to the exclusion of other women's issues; the supporters who did not put enough money and energy into the ERA fight; the "strident feminists" who damaged their own cause by fasting and chaining themselves to fences. The scarcity of discussion about the powerful forces financing the opposition to equal rights for women has also been noteworthy.

The non-ratification of ERA has been claimed as a victory by those reactionary members of our society whose ideal of the "good old days" rests squarely on the notion of woman as household servant. The vic-

tory for the Eagle Forum is Pyrrhic, however: Phyllis Schlafly is one of the best examples of what the women's movement has done to free women and give them new options in their lives. As Schlafly gloated, her words were recorded by women reporters, women photographers, women editors-even Phyllis must have been aware of the irony of the situation. And as Schlafly resumes her career as an attorney, she will meet more and more women who have followed her example rather than the convictions to which she pays lip service....

The ERA was re-introduced into Congress on June 14, and will probably pass after the November elections, when dissatisfaction with Reagan's policies will translate into more liberal members being elected to Congress. The struggle to get the necessary 38 states to ratify it will begin again, and women may have to revise our tactics. The opposition will also gather in force. But whatever the eventual fate of the ERA, the principle it embodies-equality of rights-will continue to revolutionize American society. (July, 1982)

Working With Gay Men (continued from page 8)

friends”—“I'm sorry, but only men are allowed” and even if she protests, she doesn't get in..

"Women only" days at the YMCA, Health Spa: A few men are always allowed to come in anyway. Why? Because they are men and women don't protest that they are there.

"Men's day" at the YMCA: "I'm sorry, but this is for men only, you can't come in". Why? Because

Fraser (continued from page 14)

ideology discrimination that brought City Light to trial in the first place.

The victory has unleashed a new wave of hope and determination among progressives and militants, and has sparked a renewed respect and admiration for rebels with principles, tenacity and endurance. As a San Francisco supporter wrote, "Clara Fraser makes her 'personal' struggle political and bright. She teaches people how to fight. I like that. That's what the world needs."

she's a woman. Not because she's lesbian or straight, but because she's a woman. Think it's an exaggeration? Try it.

Why do we in Cleveland feel men should be included everywhere? Why are men allowed not to let women into their spaces but women are not allowed to keep men out? Is it because they have money and power? So do many women, whether they're willing to use it in the community or not.

In Boston, Chicago, New York, California, women have their own groups, their own bars, their own spaces and men are not allowed in. Why must we be different?

This is not an "I hate men" article, but I feel strongly that until we work together to change attitudes, to make sure women and men are treated equally, there cannot be and will never be a "working together" in the gay community. Until women and men change attitudes within the community, there will continue to be a split. This issue is not Gay vs. Straight anymore, but the basic differences between men and women. Education starts there.

Spirit and Strength: Women in Sports

an evening of films Saturday, July 16 at 8pm

2728 Lancashire Rd. in Cleveland Hts.

presenting:

Annapurna: A Woman's Place Chronicle of the historic 1978 expedition which put the first women on the 10th highest mountain in the world.

Marathon Woman: Miki Gorman Story of the runner who set world records and won the Boston and New York marathons after a lifetime as a housewife.

Women in Sports: A History Documentary of the triumphs and breakthroughs women have accomplished in many different sports,

presented and previewed by

even productions

CUYAHOGA COMMUNITY COLLEGE PRESENTS

Purlie Victorious

DIRECTED BY ROBERT TOLARO

METRO

JUNE 2 10:30 AM

JUNE) 10:30 AM & 8:00 PM

a comedy about black dignity

June 3 evening performance interpreted for the hearing impaired by Dianne Fishman and Gloria Perison

my 819

ISIS

1400.W.6.ST

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June, 1983/What She Want